How to Bet on Baseball

The end of college basketball was the start of a drought for me. I really didn’t get any gambling articles up because there was seemingly nothing to gamble on. But with the start of baseball season, it’s time to lose some money again.

So I’m not starting up another daily or weekly column, but this is for those that love to gamble, but may not know too much about baseball. I’m a great example of this. I know who is good and bad in baseball, but baseball is by no means the sport I’m most knowledgeable about. In fact, it’s not even close to basketball or football, whether it’s college or professional. But this doesn’t mean I can’t make money on baseball.

So there’s a couple different ways to make some money on baseball. Obviously some are smarter than others. And maybe even more obviously, all betting is stupid. But that doesn’t stop us, so let’s dive into the different tactics you can use to make some dough off of baseball.

First Inning Bets

Do you like shitting your pants every time a pitch is thrown? Do you love cheering for literally nothing to happen? Then first inning bets are the thing for you!

First inning bets are absolutely nuts. Imagine your favorite team tied up in the 9th inning of Game 7 of the World Series. That’s a first inning bet. Your money is on the line and you just have to pray that there isn’t a hit or that there’s a bevy of hits which results in a run. Every at bat is the most important thing in your life.

Alright, so if you’re dumb enough to bet on first innings, I have some advice: bet no runs. I believe the statistics show that most teams score in the first a little over 50% of the time, so it may seem dumb to bet no. Well I have a question: would you rather watch and hope that an out can be made or would you rather hope that a hit can lead to more hits that ultimately leads to a score? The latter of the two just feels like multiple events that have to happen to win money. There’s a lot of variables. Too many for me.

Also I have a request from a caring soul, please only bet on first inning runs if you have money to play with. If you’re trying to get your week started with first inning bets, you’re probably going end up in a lot of debt, which I assume is not your goal.

Parlays

After reading about the exhilarating first inning bets, I’m sure you degenerates would love to hop on that. It sounds like so much fun! Well, let’s get you the money to make those bets before you just start watching 1 inning of baseball then moving onto the next game.

Moneylines in baseball are a wild thing. If the Cubs have Arrieta (a very good pitcher for those of you that really know nothing) gunning against the Padres’ worst pitcher (whoever that may be), in Chicago, the moneyline would be like -300. For an NBA comparison, the Cavaliers faced the Hawks, a playoff team, and the moneyline was -1400 (roughly). That is downright silly. I understand why it is the way it is, but it makes life a whole lot easier for the gambling folk.

You, as a gambling addict that I’ll probably eventually meet at gamblers anonymous, have a duty to take advantage of these generous lines. How? Well, future acquaintance, you parlay some games together!

Jack often says, “Vegas was built on parlays.” I’m here to tell you that he’s an idiot sandwich.

If you don’t lump these games together then you are throwing down some big money for a little reward. That’s absurd. No gambler wants a “little reward.” So instead, just take two very likely games and put them together.

Now for the games that you should put together. You want to start with a good pitcher. Arrieta, Bumgarner, Syndergaard, Kershaw, just to name a few.

Once, you establish which aces are dealing that night, match them up. At this point, you have two studs dealing, and you’ve parlayed the moneyline. The probable payout for your bet is somewhere in the +150 range, if not higher. Those are pretty good odds when you’re relying on some ace pitchers.

After you hit your parlays, you are going to want to throw that money on first innings. And I don’t judge. Fire away. Just enjoy baseball and the money you can make off of it.

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