I developed a routine in 8th grade. It would begin like any other 8th graders day. I’d take the bus to school and talk about the mysteries of both the female and the male genitalia before class started. “Why did I wake up very (voice crack) aroused this morning?”, “Why is there a lump on my left testicle”? I’d go from class to class, maybe beat up some nerds, then I would board the bus to depart. On the bus, I would kiss two girls a day, with no repeats. Not all of them were babes, but the way I see it, lips are lips. That’s how I saw it then, that’s how I see it now. So I’d kiss the final babe of the day before I jumped off the bus and speed home like John Wilkes Booth. I sprinted home not only because of the fear of being kidnapped, but I also wanted to see the entirety of the tremendous television show, Sportsnation. Currently the show is somewhat painful to watch, but with Cowherd and Beadle, the world was okay. One particular show, a question was posed – Are dunks overrated?
It seemed like the entire set of the show and even the man that lives in the alley out back were outraged that this was even a question asked. The fans agreed, the vote resulted in an overwhelming “no”. Yet my 14 year old ass was completely sure, maybe they are overrated.
Don’t get me wrong, dunks excite my pants off. A thunderous dunk can be a momentum changer. Despite this, how many in-game dunks should you really be impressed by? The entire league can dunk and every guy over 6 foot can throw down a vicious jam. I hate being the pessimist, but at what point are we going to stop being impressed by what has become a standard tomahawk dunk? For research purposes, I explored the web for the best dunks of the current season. I stumbled upon an 18 minute video of the best dunks of the 2016-2017 season. Believe me I had an adorable smile from ear to ear whilst watching, I loved it. Though I didn’t leave it at that as a result of my aspiration to deliver quality content to my passionate fans. Since I thrive in the field of analytics, I analyzed the hell out of the difficulty of every single one of the these rim stuffers. I consider myself the Dick Vitale of analytics. Since I expect most of the viewers to be the same caliber as Reggie Miler or Phil Simms, I will explain to you my findings.
Almost all of these dunks can be done just as beautifully and emphatically by their positional peers. Perhaps not everyone can take two steps from half court and still flush it like Giannis, and maybe Isaiah can’t dunk like the average point guard. Yet if the majority of dunks can be completed by their positional counterpart, then yes, unfortunately, dunks are overrated. This doesn’t change the excitement that every jam provides to the viewers because I always find myself in awe of pretty much every action of every NBA player. I can’t imagine having the ability to throw down in a game of pickup against the five jabronis that call themselves athletes. I’ve never come close to dunking, I’ve given up the dream. In fact, I tried to do it in my driveway without a ball one time and I actually got a good hold of the rim. I thought perhaps God had all of a sudden given me the ability to jump a little higher or I grew an inch or two while I slept? Then I decided to check out exactly how high the rim was — 9 feet. A whole foot lower than my goal and I still couldn’t escape the curse of the average white American. Soak in this information, but still enjoy every dunk as if it were you soaring through the air. Maybe photoshop your face onto Deandre Jordan’s if it makes you feel better.
Dunks that are awesome and will forever be awesome: The poster and the put-back.
Some spicy posters:
Some busty put backs: