This was a collective post by the whole gang
Every viewer of the NBA has a dream. What if I could build a franchise from the ground up? Imagine a world where you were a GM and you were handed a list of players and were told, “All you, go to town.” We are no different, so we decided to have a mock draft, but with one caveat: only players 25 and under. Anyone under that age was in play, whether current NBA guys, or guys that are soon to be the next rising stars coming from the draft.
Starting 5: PG: Lonzo Ball, SG: Bradley Beal, SF: Jonathan Isaac, PF: Karl-Anthony Towns, C: Andre Drummond
Bench: Nerlens Noel, Ricky Rubio, Malik Monk, Rudy Gobert, Jayson Tatum
From this squad, it’s very obvious what I value as a GM, big man play. The average height of my roster is 6’8”. Now I know what you’re thinking. This team can’t keep up, they’re going to get run out of the gym. Fair, but stupid. This team is no UC Irvine. I’m just going to run out a scenario here. Let’s talk about running a pick and roll with that starting lineup. Steph Curr- er my fault. Lonzo Ball brings up the ball in his own slouchy way and here comes a high ball screen from the man known as KAT. So now visualize this. With Lonzo coming off of that screen there are roughly infinity options. The first is that Ball throws up a 35 footer that is wetter than the Pacific. The next is that KAT steps out from his pick and pops from the high key. Again, wet. Or, he can roll and do what he does best in the middle of the lane: make professional athletes look like children. If all of that fails, then there is Bradley Beal, including his healthy knees and 40% three point percentage. Now think about defense. In the lane Towns, Drummond, Gobert, Isaac, and Noel all as options to swat any shot within 10 feet into the 200 level. And let’s not even talk about rebounding. No one will ever get a rebound against this team. I have 5 guys that are capable of 10 boards per game and then Lonzo Ball who is a triple double threat every night. Good night NBA, this is the super team we need.
Starting 5: PG: Dennis Smith Jr. SG: Andrew Wiggins, SF: Kawhi Leonard, PF: Enes Kanter, C: Joel Embiid
Bench: D’Angelo Russell, Julius Randle, Harrison Barnes, Jordan Clarkson, Clint Capela
This team is built to score, and you know what? They can defend too. Weird, sounds like a pretty great team already. Kawhi has proven to his ability to score among the league’s best, averaging almost 26 points a game. Put that together with Andrew Wiggins, who is averaging 23 points a game, you have a duo that will make it hard to keep your pants on. You might say “Dan, of course it is great to have freaks of nature that can score at a high level on the perimeter, but what about the meat inside? Do you have the meat to combat opponent’s meat?” I answer, “I’ve never seen a piece of meat that I couldn’t match.” I think Joel Embiid will do. He’s averaging 20 points on a minutes restriction and his rim protection is among the best in the league (2.5 blocks a game). In case this wasn’t enough scoring to get past Mark’s juggernaut of a defense, Enes Kanter has been known to fill a hole or two in his day, especially with that mustache.
Speaking of holes, I’ll be the first to admit that Enes has a glaring hole in his game. He could be the worst defending power forward in the league. Though the lengthy, athletic, perimeter defense of Wiggins and Leonard and some paint protection from Embiid will be able to cover up Kanter’s slow feet. At point guard, I took a shot with Dennis Smith Jr. from NC State and I have talented, yet injury prone D’Angelo Russell. DSJ is the only non-professional on the roster because the more experience, the better player you are. That’s why PJ and Jack’s teams are just so upsetting to me. Pj has 4 players that have never played a second of NBA basketball, Jack’s team has 5 players that are still eating sloppy joes from the lunch lady at their Universities. Experience is crucial. Kawhi knows how to win, because you know, he won. He also has a sweet trophy most likely in his den, that reads “NBA Finals MVP” and underneath it it probably says, “Babe Kisser of the year”. My team knows the secret to kissing babes, I bet no one else has such experience. In addition, while Harry Barnes may or may not have soiled himself in the finals last year, he is a winner. He is an ABSOLUTE WEAPON off the bench. I fully expect to get a text from Jack, Pj, and Mark in 7 years telling me about how I drafted perfectly and how I should marry their sisters.
Starting 5: PG: Kyrie Irving, SG: Devin Booker, SF: Otto Porter, PF: Kristaps Porzingis, C: Anthony Davis
Bench: Jabari Parker, Victor Oladipo, Steven Adams, Dennis Schroder, Allen Crabbe
My team will be known as the Ass Pounders. Mostly because, we will pound ass. Whose ass? We don’t care. Defenses will be forced to deal with Kyrie running off of screens from Kristaps and The Brow, while having to worry about Booker and Porter spotting up. My bench has my enforcer and perimeter lock down guy in Steven Adams and Victor Oladipo, as well as the nightmare matchup at the four, Jabari Parker.
Jack’s got a solid squad, but when he gets cute and puts Jokic in, I will simply tell Anthony Davis to “penetrate and conquer.” And penetrate he will. Conquering will follow, it’s inevitable. The plan to defend Jack’s team is simple: dare Ben and Giannis to shoot. If anyone drives to the basket, the unicorn and AD will be waiting at the rim, more than happy to swat their shot into the fifth row.
Against Dan, I plan on playing a fun game that I like to call, “Who wants to blast Enes’ sweet ass next?” Kristaps and Anthony will be scoring in bunches against the defensively inept Kanter. Dan has more than half of the Lakers’ starters on his bench, which is a really bad sign considering the Lakers are a joke of a team and their starters score about half of their points anyway.
PJ stole my beloved Malik Monk, so there’s bad blood in this matchup. I don’t think Drummond is going to love being pulled out of the paint by either AD or Kristaps, and I plan on exploiting that early and often. It’s tough to say just how I’m going to beat PJ’s team given the fact that half of them are still in college, but the Ass Pounders will pound PJ’s ass into oblivion.
Starting 5: Markelle Fultz, CJ McCollum, Giannis Antetokounmpo, Ben Simmons, Myles Turner.
Bench: Zach Lavine, JJ Frazier, Nikola Jokic, Josh Jackson, Lauri Markkanen
So, I don’t have a true point guard. Nor do I have a true center. But let me ask you something – who the hell cares? I have HOOPERS. Everyone on my team can play and guard multiple positions. I have freak athletes capable of dunking you or swatting you out of the Milky Way. Sure, I have a fair amount of college projects. But, as the coach, I’m confident I can run lineups out there nightly that just athletically blow other teams out of the gym. My team’s ceiling is higher than the Philadelphia Zoo’s hot-air balloon. No, I’m not ready to compete yet with Mark’s team, which is laden with already NBA proven dudes. But, in 5 years, it’s feasible I have the four best players in the league. “The Process” was a risk too. As was when Squints kissed Wendy Peffercorn. And look what happened? The Sixers are the envy of the NBA and at the end of The Sandlot, Smalls explains that Squints and Wendy got married and had a shit-ton of kids.
The pick by pick draft summary is shown below with some in-draft commentary from the lads.
#1 – Jack – Giannis Ante-however the fuck you spell it
#2 – Mark – Anthony Davis
#3 – Dan – Kawhi Leonard
#4 – PJ – KAT
#5 – PJ – Andre Drummond
#6 – Dan – Andrew Wiggins
#7 – Mark – Kyrie Irving
#8 – Jack – Markelle Fultz
#9- Jack – CJ McCollum
#10 – Mark – Kristaps
#11 – Dan – Jo-Jo
#12 – PJ – Bradley Beal
#13 – PJ – Lonzo Ball
#14 – Dan – Dennis Smith Jr.
#15 – Mark – Booker
#16 – Jack – Myles Turner
#17 – Jack – Nikola Jokic
#18 – Mark – Otto Porter
#19 – Dan – Penes Kanter. See what I did there
#20 – PJ – Rudy Gobert
#21 – PJ – Jonathon Isaac
#22 – Dan – D-loading
#23 – Mark – Jabari Parker
#24 – Jack – Zach Lavine (is breaking up with gravity)
#25 – Jack – Josh Jackson
#26 – Mark – Victor Oladipo
#27 – Dan – Julius Randle
#28 – PJ – Malik Monk
#29 – PJ – Jayson Tatum
#30 – Dan – Harrison Barnes
#31 – Mark – Steven Adams
#32 – Jack – Ben Simmons
#33 – Jack – Lauri Markannen (The next unicorn)
#34 – Mark – Dennis Schroder
#35 – Dan – Jordan Clarkson
#36 – PJ – Ricky Rubio (i needed a pg)
#37 – PJ – Nerlens Noel
#38 – Dan – Clint Capela
#39 – Mark – Allen Crabbe
#40 (Mr. Irrelevant) – Jack – JJ Frazier